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Bridesmaid dresses: matching, colours, fabrics and who pays
Bridesmaid dresses have to suit several people, one wedding and one budget at once. This page covers who is in the bridal party, how to match or mix dresses, the silhouettes and fabrics that work across different bodies, and who traditionally pays.
On this page
Who is in the bridal party
| Role | Who | On the day |
|---|---|---|
| Maid of honor | The chief bridesmaid, if unmarried; usually a sister or closest friend | Helps the bride dress and manages the veil, bouquet and train; may hold the ring and sign as a witness |
| Matron of honor | A married chief bridesmaid | The same role |
| Bridesmaids | Friends or relatives; the bride chooses how many | Attend the ceremony and support the bride |
| Junior bridesmaid | A girl clearly too young to marry, included as a bridesmaid | Walks with the bridesmaids; see flower girls and junior bridesmaids |
| Man of honor or bridesman | A male friend or brother in the bride's party | Dressed to match the party in a suit rather than a dress |
In the United Kingdom “bridesmaid” covers all the bride's attendants and “maid of honour” is a recent American import; in some European countries bridesmaids were traditionally small girls, the role English-speaking weddings now give to the flower girl.
Why bridesmaids dress alike
The custom is old. In ancient times the bride and her bridesmaids were said to dress identically and veil their faces to confuse jealous suitors and evil spirits, and in feudal China bridesmaids dressed like the bride so she could not be singled out and abducted. In the Victorian era bridesmaids wore white to match the bride. Today matching is a matter of style, and there are three common ways to do it:
| Approach | What matches | Good for |
|---|---|---|
| Identical | Same dress, colour and fabric | Formal weddings and photographs with a uniform line |
| Same colour, different styles | Colour and fabric; each picks a silhouette and neckline | Bridesmaids with different body shapes, ages or budgets |
| Mix and match | A palette of related colours, often in one fabric | Relaxed or outdoor weddings; dresses that can be worn again |
Silhouettes and fabrics that suit several bodies
The A-line fits only the bodice and flares from the hips, so it suits the widest range of figures; the Empire line, with its waist just under the bust, is the classic choice for a pregnant bridesmaid. Sheath, trumpet and mermaid shapes need a close fit at the hips and thighs and are harder to share across a group.
Flowing fabrics are forgiving: chiffon and georgette drape over the body rather than holding a shape, and polyester chiffon is inexpensive and resilient. Satin and charmeuse show every line underneath and every crease after sitting. Choosing one fabric for the whole party keeps the colours consistent even when the styles differ — see dress fabrics.
Order swatches and order together Ask for a swatch in the chosen colour before anyone orders, and place the orders at the same time: fabric from different production runs can differ slightly in shade.
Who pays for bridesmaid dresses
Historically the bride's family paid for the attendants' clothes and travel. Today bridesmaids usually pay their own way, which is why the bride traditionally gives them gifts as thanks. Costs add up: in some American weddings a bridesmaid may be asked to spend US$1,700 or more, with travel to destination weddings and pre-wedding parties usually the biggest expenses.
- Agree the budget before choosing the dresses, and ask each bridesmaid privately what she can afford.
- Accepting is not an obligation. Etiquette guides say a bridesmaid is not obliged to wear a dress she cannot afford; it is acceptable to ask what is expected before saying yes, and to decline.
- Measure everyone the same way. Send each bridesmaid the measuring guide and the maker's chart; bridesmaid sizes, like bridal ones, often run small.
Frequently asked questions
Do bridesmaids have to wear matching dresses?
No. Identical dresses are traditional, but many parties match only the colour or the fabric and let each bridesmaid choose her silhouette, or mix related colours.
Who pays for the bridesmaid dresses?
Today usually the bridesmaids themselves; historically the bride's family did. Agree the budget before choosing.
What is the difference between a maid of honor and a matron of honor?
Both are the chief bridesmaid; a maid of honor is unmarried, a matron of honor is married.
What fabric is best for bridesmaid dresses?
Flowing fabrics such as chiffon and georgette suit the most figures and seasons; satin is shinier but shows creases and every line underneath.
Keep reading
- Flower girl dresses and junior bridesmaid dressesFlower girl dresses and junior bridesmaid dresses: ages, the tradition of dressing like the bride, comfortable fabrics and lengths for children, and who pays.
- Mother of the bride dresses: etiquette, colours and lengthsMother of the bride dresses: who chooses first, colours to avoid, the right length for the dress code, coordinating with the mother of the groom, and fit tips.
- Dress fabrics: chiffon, satin, tulle, organza, lace and moreDress fabrics for formal and wedding dresses compared: chiffon, georgette, charmeuse, crêpe, satin, lace, taffeta, organza and tulle, and how to judge a swatch.
- How to measure for a dress: bust, waist, hips and hollow-to-hemHow to measure for a dress before ordering a formal or wedding gown: bust, natural waist, hips and hollow-to-hem, why bridal sizes run small, and sizing up.
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